There are few things in life that are as built up and as anticipated as a proposal, engagement ring and all. But what if the ring that is received is not quite what you had in mind? Worse yet, what if it’s downright ugly?
1. Take a Deep Breath and Hold Back
He deserves appreciation for the effort, even if it is not as wholehearted as you or he would have liked it to be. It is most definitely your right to express your opinion of the ring, on the contrary, you should share your thoughts. However, there is a time and place for such a delicate discussion and it certainly is not at the time of your proposal! As hard as it is to imagine, he has waited anxiously for this moment to arrive just as much as you have.
2. Break the News Gently and then Hint Away
After allowing the proposal to go smoothly and after having given the unwanted ring a chance to grow on you, you can try to find the right time to tell him the truth. Remember to begin by saying that he means the world to you and everything else is secondary, but add that since the ring is such an expense and is intended to accompany you for the rest of your life, you felt it was only fair to include him in your thoughts regarding the ring.
If the ring you truly desire is in the price range of the ring you were given, just explain that it is less your taste and though it is beautiful, it is less you. Then, when you are sitting around you can casually point out rings that you love. Who knows? Maybe he will take you to the store to have you pick out your own ring, or better, yet, surprise you again, this time with the perfect ring.
A yellow diamond ring being presented in a ring box
3. Working with the Ring
Remember, you may have seen pictures of gorgeous celebrity engagement rings your whole life, but those rings are not typical for 99% of women in the world. If you have come to the realization that the ring that you were given is the one you will have to keep, do not despair! There are still things you can do to improve your ring so that you are happier with it.
For starters, if you feel the ring is too plain or that the stone is too small, you can add some smaller and less expensive stones to the shoulders to make a bigger or more exciting impression. This can be easily achieved by adding a halo of diamonds, or some stones along the band - consider color diamonds for something really different and special. If it means that much to you, perhaps a minor detail of the wedding or of your future home can be sacrificed so that this important ring is one that you love.
In this ring, the pink diamond halo adds tons of spunk and makes the 1.03 ct center diamond look much bigger
4. Changing the Setting
Sometimes adding stones, or even switching the main diamond, is not enough to fix the problem. In some cases, the entire setting must be replaced in order for it to be the ring that you want. Although this is a bit trickier of a problem to fix, it can certainly be understandable.
The setting that he chose may be too bulky for you or too delicate. You can switch your setting for another that is a double or triple shank to better suit your needs. The old setting, if it cannot be exchanged or returned, can always be hung from a chain and worn on special occasions. This way you can have your ultimate ring while preserving the original gesture.
5. It’s Only a Symbol
Whether any of these tips are possible or realistic, and whether or not they have helped improve your situation, always remember that as beautiful and meaningful as an engagement ring may be, it is just a ring and only a symbol. It should not be a reason to fight or argue, and of course should not be the cause for financial struggles. Even if it is not the ring you wanted, or anything remotely close to it, remember that it was chosen by your chosen, with you in mind. Somewhere down the line, when the budget allows it, you can get that ultimate ring. It will be even more gratifying then, knowing that you have waited so long for it.
Life is far from being a romantic comedy. If your little velvet box ends up revealing something that you hadn’t planned, know that it is not the end of the world and that there is plenty that can be done to make amends. After all, it is just a ring, and rings can be and are designed to be altered.